LESSON THREE

 So we're using the stars in our eyes to block out the negative, to shine on the positive. In other words we're creating out own reality. This I highly suggest because reality is so subjective - why not make it fabulous. 

Right now I'm trying to break a bad habit and it's easier to frame it with the positives that will result rather than with the negatives/difficulty of breaking it.  Made up a story that reinforces my positives. 

I have severe sleep related lines on my face - I sleep like the proverbial baby, thank heavens! - but I am a side sleeper and squishing my face into the pillow every night has proven to be very aging to my skin. I have vertical lines - wrinkles - to show for this bad habit. So I am, once again, vowing to sleep on my back. I've done 3 nights in a row and am very proud of myself as I've tried this before and always failed miserably.  My goal is to make it a month and then I'll look into filler - which I've never done, but could work if I can stay off my face while sleeping. I'd also like to refresh my microbladed brows and will do this for myself IF I can retrain my sleeping habit. 

xo

Living

 I'd like to write more and I intend to, we'll see tho because I'm starting a novel (!) - exciting I know! - and perhaps I'll be too busy with that. I intend to watch less youtube (my only social media guilty pleasure) so that should open up some scribbling time. May I remind how much I abhor facebook?

My Chicago agency would like new photos for their website and it's been 2 1/2 years since the last round, so I guess I'll start that process. I've been wearing my hair a bit shorter as well and my last round of photos were a disappointment.  I really only liked one outfit series and my hair was just too long. Oh well. It was disappointing because I haven't booked much since taking them! So I do need new ones. In preparation I'll step up my exercise/toning routine - my waist feels big!! and gather some outfits for the shoot. It feels good to have a goal - glow up a bit!  Additionally, now that I've decided to stop appraising as my 'day job' I have the wherewithal/more time l to travel for modeling gigs. 

I know, this should be Lesson 3, but that'll come eventually.....

Today I'm going to pull out the nasturiums and random cherry tomato plants that are still in ground - in late November! And generally clean up the garden.

Late lunch at La Ville Lumiere to catch up with an old friend later......

xo

lesson two

 what to shine the stars in your eyes upon? there actually are very few choices when looking at the big picture: health, family, friends, purpose. can you name anything else? i can't.  lmk in the comments. 

ah health. we find it very difficult to be healthy. so much bad food that tastes good. alcohol. legal pot. endless scrolling of bad content, movies and tv on demand.... our consumer culture made "ease" the vey best thing ever! Open a box, add water , zap it and dinner! Buzz up to the Target for a Target run. If you had to walk there you'd think twice about that. eat a healthy diet? no thanks, tie up my stomach or give me a pill - why should I have to do anything, that's so hard! 

so what if you shine the stars on your health. will you see it  now? will you see it differently? will the light give it extra importance, strength, power (that word again)? shrugs.

my lifestyle shhhhh lesson one

 many of you have inquired as to my lifestyle. you want more, perhaps, than I reveal in these pages. but in these pages I reveal alot if you know what you are looking for. in general I'm not a fan of sharing. mystery holds power. but I'm bored and not captalizing the beginning words of sentences - also losing luster. 

my fabulous life. all the little daily pleasures. candies for the hours. first you have to place stars in your eyes. i'm not kidding, it's number one for a reason. a foundation for what's to come. attitude. everyone's star is different because everyone is different. what the stars in your eyes shield you from is powerful. you need a shield sometimes because part of life is acknowledging your basic helplessness in so much of it. there will be things you see, hear, feel, smell, taste, intuit and know that you shrink from, that you hate, that you wish you never saw. use your stars to blithly shine them out. accept that they are there and forget them. awareness and acceptance.

say it again: awareness, acceptance, attitude. remember those, in the powerful weapon category

i would suggest an attitude of gratitude but you find your angle. remember positivity is powerful.

Pperhaps I'll break right now and think about how much I'm going to present here. i don't want a fucking to to list of course but the logical next step is what are the things you want the stars in your eyes to shine on, to illuminate for you. 

Coquette

  There is a trend - if you google coquette - that is not what I'm referring to here. Flirtatious, romantic, cunning, slyly using feminine wiles to persuade...... not bad things I guess, but, again, I'm not on the social media trend train andthis isn't my thing. 

I'm referring to a woman who engages in self care. Daily, weekly, always! A very French Secret! The coquette woman. Indulges in skin care, manicures, haircare as a way of life. What a delicious secret.

So here's my Tuesday ritual a la coquette.

Some lovely stretching, a hot sauna and some cold rinses, a gorgeous shower exfoliating etc. Enjoying the application of super luscious lotion afterward and drying my hair with my latest (big) indulgence my dyson. I love how my hair looks so it's worth it. And then it's time to prepare for my ballet class, some stretches of my feet and legs as I dress for it. I love my weekly ballet class, it's imperative for my posture at this point!

No guilt! That is imperative as well!!

xo

what now for me

 well today I've felt a weird internal individual energy. one that wants to be independent of the external, different from usual

not one seeking anying any mantle or grace from any corner but one that is mine.

it is notable that a surge of personal power has emerged on this dark day

a primal backlash 

Sweet Designs Chocolate Ha ha ha

 2 years since I've written!! What compels such action? Sea parted? Writer's block, cleared? An omg feeling that I need the accountability of dates otherwise I lose them? So baby I'm back.

With a tres moi reason. I'd like to rant about Sweet Designs being closed Jan 1 -10 which is just absurd. Where am I to go. What am I to do? There is no answer. 

So I went to Heinens. Handy and I needed whipped cream (remind me about my apple crisp:old school recipe) .After walking around their "bakery", deciding that a yummy coffee cake sounded like it would do but of course finding nothing!! and feeling like a weirdo cause I ended up looking at everything and I'm sure the look on my face was nice. But I did find, tucked in the brownie case, a very tasty brownie/caramel/cookie dough layered bar. And I ate it with tea, quite hit the spot.

BUT back to the dearth of good chocolate and the need for everyone to stock up! Now there is a thing called damp January and if you're doing any of those alcohol things you can probably do it but you'll need tea and good sweets. Everyday I think of driving over the bridge to Lakewood and it's a few days yet till Sweet Designs (a most european thing in my neighborhood) reopens. Try the nut patty. Either cashew, pecan or almond, dark or milk chocolate, caramel. It's all you need really because right there all you math majors can tell me how many variations you can indulge in. Six, I think. Ok the toffee and brittle are smashing as well. 

 her new motto was "might as well". she used to live by "why not".  I doubt she ever questioned either as hers was a life pretty well unexamined. random in so many ways like a trip to Nordstrom Rack that could result in bags of clothes meant for some life other than the one they were entering. 

February 7, 2022

 After a very sluggish hibernation last month I'm taking a look at the year to come. I'm at my winter weight. Did not exercise/walk/stretch/yoga for at least 2 weeks. Didn't even wash my face for a couple of days here and there (no makeup to remove, no sunscreen either as I'm just inside, just slathered moisturizer when I felt tight). So pretty basic.

 I did some self care tho: had my teeth whitened at the dentist and I'm very happy with the results. Continued with my bi weekly series of chemical peels and now, after 90 days, am switching to monthly facials.  After 3 months of chemical peels (very well controlled, minimal to no peeling or redness) I can see results, happily. The plan is to do one facial per month and what type depends on how my skin is behaving. Microneedling, chemical or firming being among the choices.  I've decided to purchase products as I run out of them and will upgrade according to my esthetician's  recommendation. So far I'm using a Vit C  hydrating repair and  a glycolic/retinol - both from Image. Additionally I had my microbladed brows touched up and they look pretty good!  

So I did do some self care in January and I'm very happy with the results. The esthetician recommends doing sheet masks or at home facial masks DAILY! - which is probably not happening- but we have started doing them - solo and en famille - much more often. Of course daily sunscreen is imperative, per absolutely everybody, so I've tried a few new ones and I'm happy to report that there are some really nice options. They contain primer now and act as a nice one step sunscreen and light coverage. I've tried and liked Tizo and Goop Glow Screen.   As for the teeth - I've been sipping coffee via a stainless steel straw and switched up my red wine for sauvignon blanc in order to keep the glow. Ok I feel a bit better about my very lazy January now that I've tallied it up. Also, Aldi has some really delicious Sauvignon Blanc at a great price point.

Playing my keyboards fairly regularly and I've been learning/researching some 80s music for Ke Ka and La. This new project will shape up over the next 6 months or so. The  PopTarts have only one gig this month. 

Now I've got to get energized with some body movement. I.ve been really enjoying outdoor walks - ramped up during the pandemic - but I can't do them in the extreme cold as it aggravates my bronchitis. Walking with one of my daughters or husband is great tho in the proper season. I could use the indoor pool at the rec center but......brrrr.....the getting into and out of the pool just doesn't inspire me right now. I may have to bite that bullet tho as swimming is such a terrific choice for me - exercise and meditation in one practice. 

One big change is upcoming, I'm electing to take my social security payment starting in October. I've talked this over with my husband and our financial advisor and it's a go! At this point I'm planning to take Sept - December totally off from appraising. I'll keep my license in effect and renew it every year until I'm certain that I won't want or need some extra income. We plan to go to Portugal in September so what a kick off to "retirement".  That's a trip with our good friends so I'm thrilled to be planning it.

Later this month we're going for the first time to Las Vegas! Actually we'll spend 2 or 3 nights at the Paris (of course) in Vegas and then spend the rest of the week with Sedona as our base. This is the first time either of us have been in the SW and we're looking forward to it. We'll go to California at the end of March and have to get going on that planning that trip as well. Maybe in 2023 we'll go for longer to Arizona or California depending on this experience.

xo

La

Rooftops of Paris

The rooftops of Paris are beautiful and emblematic - of the soaring reach the city makes, in all things. I dream of sleeping on a Parisian rooftop, nestled in a cozy bed amid a potted garden. Maybe you'll enjoy this video!

 

More of the same, with a few tweaks

 Yesterday: good. However this am I have a slightly itchy neck and eyes and some dry skin in both areas - an allergy. Going thru what I ate/drank/wore now, what a pain. Wait. What if cleaning got me all stirred up?? Good grief.  I was home all day, didn't try anything new. I did milk (foamed, in my coffee as a cleaning day treat), I cleaned. Very routine day.  However today some allergic inflammation. 

First Friday of Lent (not that I'm in it for anything but the food) so tonight's dinner is crunchy fish sandwiches on brioche, crinkle cut fries, broccoli and corn. I should do slaw, so scratch the broc and corn.  I am going to make an asian slaw with cabbage, yellow bell, green onion, carrot tossed in sesame oil, rice vinegar and some ginger (perhaps?).    I love a good fish fry but carryout is not a good look on that dish.

xo

Planning on how to think about my day

 Today I plan to clean. My house, some produce. It's cold and snowy, I have no errands and so....perfect.

Then I see on instagram - a huge house inventory sale at RBX. Dreamy. The photos a teaser. My kind of shopping.

But today I clean, curate and contain the treasures I already own and decline to accumulate more, respectfully. 

That's cool, right?

Among those items are a dozen roses that have been so gorgeous in the living room. I believe they are going to either the bedroom or the office today. A couple of pairs of leggings are biting the dust. There will be more change by day's end. 

Music, candles and movement and a cleaning plan.